Why do some stay at home moms take a condescending attitude toward working parents?
I often see stay at home mom’s say things like ‘I want to raise my family, not a stranger’ and complain that they are looked at as dumb or not given the respect they deserve by working parents. Why can’t people accept the choices others have made for themselves and their families? My wife and I work and do the best we can for our kids. Our daycare is great. All of the teachers have early childhood development degrees. The kids are socialized, stimulated, happy, and loved. We have great relationships with the teachers. None of them are strangers to my family. Their degrees and experiences allow our kids to learn things that my wife and I are not trained on.
Kids are going to need to spend time away from their parents at one point or another. They either begin the education and socialization process at age 6 months or at age 5. Why do some stay at home moms knock people that work and want to provide the most opportunity and security for their kids?
The same stay at home moms who say ‘I want to raise my family, not a stranger,’ send their kids to kindergarten and first grade, don’t they? So, by their definition of letting someone else raise their kids, they are doing it themselves, just starting at age 5.
Alot of reasons, but none of them are good enough for me.
Some SAHMs believe the mother should *always* be with the children. Which does more harm than good…
Some believe the woman shouldn’t work. Just plain and simple "Women shouldn’t work" and I disagree with that.
There’s many more reasons..none of which are good enough for me. If you want to stay home with your kids for a few years then more power to you. But these women that decide from day one that they will NOT work makes me mad. I think it’s selfish to put the entire burden of finances on your spouse just so you can stay home. And from what I’ve seen, alot of the children of stay at home moms have never learned to cope without mom, and that causes major problems.
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August 31st, 2009 at 1:21 am
Some people think that they are better than others. My son goes todaycare 3 times a week and he loves it. He has little friends there and they do all sorts of things. Unfortunately I can’t stay at home with him as we can’t afford that. Ignore them is all I can tell you. THey are yuor children and only you can make the decisions for your children.
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August 31st, 2009 at 1:44 am
Because a lot of stay at home parents think their choice should be every ones. I am a stay at home mom. Why? Because that is what works for MY family. My sister and her hubby work. Why? Because it works for them. I say to each their own. Being a good parent is about making the right choices for YOUR family.
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August 31st, 2009 at 2:08 am
Alot of reasons, but none of them are good enough for me.
Some SAHMs believe the mother should *always* be with the children. Which does more harm than good…
Some believe the woman shouldn’t work. Just plain and simple "Women shouldn’t work" and I disagree with that.
There’s many more reasons..none of which are good enough for me. If you want to stay home with your kids for a few years then more power to you. But these women that decide from day one that they will NOT work makes me mad. I think it’s selfish to put the entire burden of finances on your spouse just so you can stay home. And from what I’ve seen, alot of the children of stay at home moms have never learned to cope without mom, and that causes major problems.
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August 31st, 2009 at 2:27 am
They have a superiority attitude. Of course not all Moms can afford to stay home, because the income is a necessity. If you are one of those who have kids and work, don’t let these braggarts get to you. We all have a freedom of choice.
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August 31st, 2009 at 2:37 am
i think its just that everyone thinks the way they raise their kids is the best and only way, so they feel the need to vocalize it. parenthood religion, spirituality, politics, and sports pretty much all fit into the same non-debatable category.
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working mother of 1
August 31st, 2009 at 3:22 am
Well why are you a working parent knocking stay at home moms and claiming that working parents provide "the most opportunity and security for their kids"??? You are doing the very thing you are bickering about, i believe that is called hypocricy.
I think staying home with your kids if you can afford it is BEST because then yes you are raising your kids, teaching them wrong from right and not expecting some daycare person to do it Degree or not…….its not their kid, so why would they deeply care about making sure your kid behaves correctly or learns enough? other than "thats their job" Plus is just that much more chance for your kids to pick up bad habits and germs from other ppls kids.
If you cant afford to be a stay at home mom, my heart feels for you! Dropping your kids off at daycare or for someone else to take care of them all day is always sad
I think a lot of time "working" parents see stay at home moms as uneducated or stupid…..when really they are doing whats most important in life ……..so stop knocking them and go back to your job……and drop your kids off at daycare and dont think 2 about it
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August 31st, 2009 at 3:56 am
You know how small children spell love?
T
I
M
E
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August 31st, 2009 at 4:06 am
The question is the same but the environment is different. It’s the same question as why do breastfeeding moms have a bad attitude toward bottle moms? It’s the same question as why do people who drive Chevy’s have a bad attitude toward people who drive Fords? It’s the same question as why do people from the midwest make fun of people from the south?
We are all human. We all have our own preferences and necessities. Sometimes it would be so nice if people would just be nice.
As far as your personal experience and question, I hope this resentment does not stem from guilt on your part or perhaps you really would like your wife to be a stay at home mom but she does not want to. Perhaps together, you both make enough money that it is a good financial decision for you both to work. Look at your finances, are you losing money having the kids in daycare? If you are then perhaps you should sit down with your wife and discuss this. If she wants to be a working mom, maybe you could become a stay at home dad?
People are people and we all have to just let it run off our backs when we hear rude things. Best of luck to you.
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personal experience
August 31st, 2009 at 4:12 am
Not all stay at home moms do. I for one am a stay at home mom, and i think that if you can work and enjoy it then great. For my family daycare was not an option. To get a daycare like what it sounds like you are taking your children to was way to expensive for us. When i work i am lucky if i make $9.00 an hour. So the daycare with all that fancy stuff you talk about are just not worth it (money wise) we looked into it and they wanted like $200.00 a week. Thats almost my whole pay check. The day cares we found we could afford there was one women with like and i am not lying 30 kids in here tiny little house. There is no way those kids are being looked after right. Not to mention in my area we have stay at home mom groups that meet with are kids some times so they can learn to play with others. That is the only thing that bothers me some times abot being a stay at home mom is that my son has very little interaction with other kids. But i work with him every day on his abc and 123 and reading and writing and all of those things. Plus i just enjoy see every moment of him growing up. There is not one first that i missed. Cant put a price tag on that. The only other thing that some times with bother me about staying at home is that my son barely gets to see his father. My husband works around 110 hours a week so we can have the money to survive. Sometimes i feel my son might be missing out on his father. BUt my husbband would rather me work that much then have to put our son in daycare. He was raised by a stay at home mom. He normaly gets an hour a day to spend with him other then the weekends. But he cherishes that one hour a day. I feel that familys can make it work both ways. Its all up to the family.
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August 31st, 2009 at 4:21 am
People make choices based on life experiences and the goals they set for themselves and their family. Being defensive, condesending are all ways to answer questions by others who believe their way is better. What works for you may not work for them, it depends on the needs of the children, parents and the ultimate goals or expectations of the family. The same with the old question of quantity and quality. Spending all the time home with the children or spending quality time. We all do the best we can. I do know one thing. Judging another’s choices may bring you to a new place in your life. I know that from my own experiences. I was a stay in home, then choices were taken away and have been working to give them the best I can. Personally, I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore because they have not traveled in my shoes.
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August 31st, 2009 at 4:38 am
I got that too, I think they read those studies but don’t realize that they are generalizations. I went back to work when my son was 8 weeks old. I started work at 6 AM and got out at 2:30.
His father started work at 9 AM. My son was at the sitter when he was little from about 8:30 until 3. When I picked him up, he had just finished his nap and we did all kinds of things, we played, we went for hikes in the woods, we read, etc.
He was a happy well adjusted kid. All of my sitters until we moved and went to day care were more like family, we had picnics and parties together, we saw each other socially (We had no family in the area).
After we moved, I found a wonderful day care center, which he stayed in until he went to school. The teacher of his class, was with him the whole 2 1/2 years he was there. When she had a baby, her baby was down stairs with the little ones, my 4 yo was upstairs with the older kids. He held the baby, he learned to feed her, and he even changed her diaper (’but not a poopie one’). My son is still friends with kids from his daycare center.
You hear about problems when Mom’s work, we had an instance on our street where the boys got together and started ringing doorbells and ran away. A 94 yo lady came downstairs to answer the door and fell, she broke her hip. My son, you know, the one with the working Mom, was the only one who was at home and not running the streets because I kept tabs on him and did not allow him to just run aimlessly. The other kids Moms were non-working Moms and were at home watching soap operas at the time of the incident.
Stick by your guns, you are doing what you feel is right and your child feels that. If someone stayed home to take care of the kids and they did not want to be there, the kids would know it and feel the resentment. No one would be happy and if the finances were not there to make life easier, forget it, they would be miserable.
Hold your head up and be proud you are doing what you think is best.
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August 31st, 2009 at 4:43 am
I commend you for making the choices you have. I don’t see anything wrong in continuing to work. Each family must make their OWN choices, whether one parent stays home or both do & telecommute or run their own business.
My son went to daycare for a few years while I was working & he’s no worse off than any of the kids who are being raised by stay at home mothers. He’s in the gifted classes in school, is well mannered, well behaved & I don’t worry about him doing something stupid. He thinks before he acts most times. Sometimes he doesn’t & that’s ok too.
I used to get those snide comments from the moms at my son’s school when I was working. I ALWAYS took the day off or worked 1/2 day when he had an assembly or performance of some kind. If I couldn’t do either one, I traded days off. My smart remark to those busy bodies was "I’ve made the best decision for my family as you’ve done for yours. Please remember that we all have choices to make in life & not all the same choices are right for everyone." That usually shut them up fast. If they were stupid enough to keep on, I would turn away from them, walk away or give them the silent treatment.
Due to a minor fall almost 3 years ago, I’m now disabled & am home daily. I certainly would NEVER tell a working mom to stay home instead. If she asked which choice is best, I’d advise her on making a pro & con list & then discussing it with her husband if there is one.
Every woman has the right to work if she chooses to. She also has the same choice to stay home. Which one is right? Only she knows which is best for the family. NO ONE, not me, not you, not the so-called experts have the right to tell a woman which choice she HAS to make.
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August 31st, 2009 at 5:06 am
I have never once met a stay at home mother with this condescending attitude you speak of. I am not a stay at home mom, but I know many and never got that vibe. Are you talking about 1 person inparticular? Did someone say something inparticular to make you feel this way? Maybe they are just stating the fact that they want to be home with their kids, not meaning to pass judgement. Sorry to play devil’s advocate, but I think you are generalizing or basing your opinion on one experience. You said "you often see a stay at home mom….." How many are you talking here?
You also said "Why can’t people accept the choices other have made…."
Well, what you wrote doesn’t seem very accepting of the stay at home mom’s choices.
I’m not judging, just giving an opinion.
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August 31st, 2009 at 5:27 am
You said that you have a great relationship with the teachers. What about your relationship with your children? How often do you spend time with them? My sister and brother in law both were working 12 hour days if not more. They left the kids in daycare/preschool for 14 hours a day. My nephew has been expelled from all the preschools in his city because he was lashing out- he’s only 3 yrs old. He’s angry, temperamental and down right mean, his dad had to quit working so he could stay home with him. Think about it, why do teenagers feel the need to join street gangs? They want to replace the family they feel they don’t have, because mom and dad are to busy for them. No one has a right to judge you or your wife. I’m sure your doing what you feel is the best for your family.
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August 31st, 2009 at 6:03 am
it may be that they aren’t skilled enough to earn enough to afford to work and pay for daycare. i have known a few couples that would have had more money if one of them stayed at home with the children. and on the other side, a couple that the wrong job was kept and the good paying job given up to be able to be a ‘good’ mom. personally, i think too many couples listen to "experts" or are pressured into having the "perfect" life. times have changed, my m-i-l can’t see that, it is not the 50’s-70’s that she seems to think it is! but, then of course, she’s perfect!! lol! just make sound decisions and live your life as it suits you. and remember, it isn’t better, just because you keep up with the jone’s. good luck and be happy!
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August 31st, 2009 at 6:13 am
Well I work in a Children’s Center. And you can bet you and your wife are being talked about behind your backs. We have kids that have working parents with high on the hog appetites. They drop there kids off at 6:30 am and pick them up at 6:00 pm. 5 days a week. the kids complain that they never see their parents. The parents pick up their kids drive home, most of the time buying takeout to feed their kids so that they can push them into their homework and send them to bed. Parents are wrung out when they come to get there kids and most of the time short. So I guess stay at home moms who want kids take the time to stay home and raise them. More power to them. And for your information. I was a stay at home mom too. My husband and I discussed it and thought it was proper to do so. I am glad we did.
We are a close family and we go most everywhere together. I am not saying all working parents are not good parents. But the majority of kids in daycare are raised by strangers. We enforce rules only for parents to pick up their kids and let the rules and standards we set for them at Daycare slide at home. So you can see we as Daycare teachers see things differently than you do. And most of time we don’t think working parents take enough time to ask their kids how are you today or what did you learn etc………You stated that our training allows kids to learn things that parents are not trained on. What we do for the kids is be a parent. We show love, concern we play, sing, do art, and learn things. And you think you are not trained to do so? Then maybe you shouldn’t have had kids. You basically are saying you are not trained to be a parent…………because that is all it is. Take the time read to your kids. let them read to you. Spend the time asking them about how they are.
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Teacher and Mother of 4~ ages 26, 23, 19 and 7
August 31st, 2009 at 6:35 am
I 100% agree with you.
I am a single mother, my daughter’s father walked away before birth and I chose to raise her on my own. I have no choice but to work. My daughter was with a babysitter until 3 and then went to preschool. My daughter learned so much from them-went she went to K, you could tell the difference between those who went and those who didn’t. These people were not strangers at all. They took pride in their work and loved the children.
Yes, of course there were things I missed BUT my child did not miss out on anything. She is 10 now, gets straight A’s, is a great kid and we are as close as can be. Someone here said time but TIME is what you make it. I choose to stay home with my child on weekends rather than go out as alot of single people do(I am not knocking it-just saying)
Not everyone can stay home-no one should judge. It is my choice.
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August 31st, 2009 at 6:47 am
Why have kids if you are going to pay someone else to raise them? And FYI many of these same SAHM’s also homeschool.
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:22 am
The stay-at-home vs. work debate is as heated now as it has ever been. You are being condescending what you ask "Why do some stay at home moms knock people that work and want to provide the most opportunity and security for their kids?" Are you assuming that we do not also want to provide opportunity and security? Do you truly "accept the choices others have made for themselves and their families?" or are you more interested in defending and justifying your choices?
Its not hard to see that there has been a decline in society over the last 30 years. Correlate that with a rise in working families, and percentage of children in daycare. On a micolevel, I’m not saying that you putting your children in daycare will ruin society as a whole, but on a macrolevel that has been the trend.
In college I had a class that required a two hour a week lab in a daycare. It was far and away the best daycare I could imagine. The teachers had degrees, there was a low child to teacher ratio, there were art lessons for 6 month old babies. If I had to put my child in a daycare it would be my first choice. But one thing always stood out to me, and I know that once again it was them doing the best they could. If a child in their care were to hit a milestone–rolling over, crawling, walking, talking–and the parent had not mentioned it to them yet, they kept their mouth shut. The reason: parents with kids in daycare don’t need to feel bad about missing the "first" time their child does something. If I had my children in daycare and the first steps I saw were not truly their first steps it would break my heart, granted I would not know for sure that it was not their first, but I would always wonder in the back of my head.
I agree with you that eventually children begin their education and socialization process, whether 6 months or five years, but you have made a grave error in assuming the only place these things can happen is away from home. My 3 year old knows his numbers, letters, sounds the letters make, can identify different denominations of money, do simple addition and subtraction, write his name and other letters, identify shapes (including pentagons, hexagons, octagons, trapazoids, parallelograms, triangles, cirlces, ovals, squares, diamonds, and rectangles), and much more. He socializes with other kids through playdates and at the park.
We all love our kids and are doing what we think is best for them and that is all we can do.
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:52 am
Having a teacher EDUCATE your children is different than someone RAISING them.
With that being said, most of what you hear are stay-at-home Moms responding to career women looking down at them as women who are "dependent" on their husbands; and career women tend to categorize stay-at-home Moms as under-educated.
My wife stayed home & raised out daughter until school time, then worked in schools as a teacher’s assistant for special-needs children.
Our daughter is well-adjusted, doing great in school, plays sports.
I believe children raised in childcare environments tend not to have close relationships with their parents as they grow up because the parents tend to be career parents who spend more time with their jobs than their own children.
"Can’t play right now, I’ve got this or that office thing to do over the weekend".
How many childcare kids hear that growning up?
p.s. I used to drive by a childcare center on my way to work. At 6 AM parents were dropping their kids off. Consider what time the kids had to have been woken up to get ready.
Now, with that in mind, what time were the kids sent to bed to be sure they got the sleep they needed?
That certainly doesn’t leave a lot of time for the children & parents to have close-bonding times for a healthy relationship.
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my opinion
August 31st, 2009 at 8:35 am
It goes both ways. People ask me if I feel like I am not giving my family everything since I don’t work. No one situation will work for every family. If it did not bother you on some level you would not have asked. If you both want to work, more power to you. It is not what my husband and I thought would be best for our family. Anyone can help teach their children letters numbers and early writing.
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August 31st, 2009 at 9:04 am
I have been both a stay at home mom and a full time working mom. I have always loved my children the same and I have always done everything possible to spend as much time at home with them as I possibly can.
That being said, sometimes I felt insecure about my choices. When I was a SAHM I was insecure because I was dependent on my spouse and I had no extra income or "purpose" outside the home. When I was a WOHM I felt like I wasn’t able to be there as much as I wanted and the guilt really bothered me.
I think insecurity leads a lot of people to criticize. We just have to remember that although it is best for people to spend as much time as possible with their children that sometimes parents have to work. I started off staying at home and then got divorced so I had to work to support my children. We never know what might lead a family to make the choice they do so I don’t think being judgemental is appropriate in either the SAHM or WOHM communities.
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August 31st, 2009 at 9:33 am
I don’t care either way really i am a stay home mom and i love being with my child and it makes more sense financially for me to stay home but sometimes i wish i had a break i couldn’t leave her right now cuz she is only three months but when she is about two i am gonna take her to daycare maybe twice a week just to have some time alone.I think alot of stay home moms are jealous that working moms have a real grown up life during the day and get to be with other adults instead of being knee high in laundry and dishes and baby formula and not having time to take a bath or do anything for yourself,the working mom gets to have a life.I am not saying that my life is terrible i love being a mom and at home but there are days when i think i would love a whole day to myself with no crying and no bottles and no poopy diapers.I stiff drink and an adult conversation…oh well then again parents who work want more time with their kids so neither one is better than the other…do whats best for your family and your sanity and don’t worry bout what others think
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August 31st, 2009 at 10:18 am
because they are trying to make the best out of their situation, by saying that they are the only ones raising their children, and that is the right way. Don’t pay any mind to them
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August 31st, 2009 at 10:40 am
The most important years of a child’s life is the first five. I don’t want strangers raising my kids, yes it’s true. It’s sad when your kids view their daycare provider as their mother, not you. Look back in history, why is OCD and ADHD so common in this era and not 50 years ago? There is no way a daycare can provide the same level of care a mother can. My daughters are 3 and 5 years old, behave in a restaurant and at stores, don’t whine and fuss if they don’t get their own way.
I think it is ironic when parents say they need to work two jobs to support their families, yet they drive around in brand new cars, have clothes from the GAP, their kids walk around with cell phones at age 10 and have a huge house. Make sacrifices for your children. They’ll long remember coming home after school and talking to Mom about their day than the fact for their 8th birthday they got a laptop.
I don’t think I am any better than any other parent out there. I am doing what I think is the best for my kids, which is what I am sure every other parent wants too. By the way for all of you who think stay at home Moms are less educated, I have a degree in accounting, I could be making good money.
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August 31st, 2009 at 10:59 am
You know NancyBuck took the answer right out of my mouth. She couldn’t of answered this question any better than she did. well done.
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August 31st, 2009 at 11:26 am
I see your point, but there is one thing that deters mothers from working, and that’s because they are considered to take their jobs less seriously, like if a kid gets sick at school, the mom has to leave work, dentist appts, etc,…and so they are deliberatly paid less than people without kids, and with every kid they have, their worth goes down. This infuriates me, because I’m a single mom with 3 kids, and it costs me a fortune in daycare, plus I have to pay for transportation, so it costs me more to go to work than the other people I work with, and to top it off, not only do I have to bring home the bacon (enough to only BUY bacon) I also have to cook it and clean up after it as well. I do the work of two adults, yet I get less than one unencumbered person. One guy has enough saved to buy a house (on 11 bucks an hour) cause he lives in his parents basement, has no life and banks every check. I’m lucky to still have $20 in my pocket by the end of the pay period. And my kids hate it that I’m never home, and when I am, I’m too busy or too tired to do anything except the stuff I HAVE to do, then I’m done.
So those women who haughtily declare that no stranger shall raise their child should be damn grateful they have been given the CHOICE to do so without threatening the security of the home. Good for them. I hope they’re miserable.
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August 31st, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I don’t understand why some SAHM’s have that attitude. SAHM’s are fortunate to be able to spend all day with their kids if they can afford to be a SAHM. While that job is wonderful and all there’s not much credit given to all the WOHM’s. They too would like to be at home with their kids but cannot afford to. There are benefits that go along with working outside the home more income for your family which is always a good thing and your child(ren) get to be outside of the home and have socialization. And strangers are not raising your child just because you are working and that your child or children won’t know you. If that’s the case our son wouldn’t know us and believe me he does! It’s much different putting your child in daycare so you can go to work then you have some parents that purposely pawn off their children to babysitters. Just because one works doesn’t make them parents bad parents and that is wrong for some not all SAHM’s to think that. Shouldn’t judge unless the shoe is on the other foot.
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August 31st, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Stay at home moms are sometimes like that because they are constantly defending themselves from people who look down on them for raising their kids. I agree with you though that it’s not fair that people are critisized for putting their kids in daycare. And it seems that most of the people making those comments are stay at home moms. Sometimes people just can’t understand that not everyone can afford to stay home with their kids and it doesn’t make them bad parents for enrolling their kids in daycare. Kids can actually benefit from being in daycare they become less dependent on mom and dad and have better social skills it also prepares kids for school. I think that stay at home parents and working parents are both great and that they should be proud for doing what they do.
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August 31st, 2009 at 12:30 pm
I am glad someone asked this question. I have been wondering it myself. I work, I wish I could stay home, we discussed it a couple of times, but it won’t work for our family…bills need to be paid.
I can’t tell you how many things I’ve seen written by SAHM’s (not all, but some) or daycare providers, putting down working mothers, calling us selfish ect. I feel like crap every time I read it.
Believe me, if I could stay home, I would jump on the opportunity right away. The best I can do is choose a daycare provider who happens to be an in home licensed provider. She is a mother her self and is very educated in childhood education and can only have 5 or 6 kids in her care at the same time. Currently, there’s only 4, one of which is her own toddler. And limit the hours he’s there as much as possible. My husband takes him in and I pick him up. Taht way he’s not there for all day. Then we try our best to spend evenings and weekends at home focusing on our son as opposed to going out with our friends and getting babysitters. So far it seems to be working, he’s happy and well adjusted and hopefully having 3 positive influences n(mom, dad and Natalie) in his life as he grows up, he’ll stay on the track he’s on.
I like to think we’re doing the best we can for him to provide him with a life that he can grow up to appreciate and so he can have a few of the things (nothing over the top or anything) that my parents were unable to offer us growing up being the kind of money constraints my parents had. Although they did a great job with what they had, I just want to give my son a little more.
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August 31st, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I am not a stay home mom by choice. (as in, I didnt decide that when I had children I would stay home becuase I felt no one else should be a part of their lives) It makes more sense for me to stay home with our children.. then it does for me to work a 40 hr week, and give the daycare 95% of my pay. When our 1st child was born, I was working a rotating 12 hr shift. 2 weeks days 7am-7pm, 2 weeks nights 7pm-7am. He went to daycare on the days I had to work.. when my 2nd child was born, we found it a little harder on the wallet paying $200 a week for daycare. Even though I only worked 2 or 3 days a week, I had to pay for the entire week to keep their spots….. I chose to quit that job and work a part time night and weekend job because of the stress and money issues. Then, when our 3rd one was born… it wasnt in the cards for me to go back to a normal job… I stay home now and keep my 3 and I babysit for a teacher at my kids school…. it wasnt planned, but I wouldnt have it any other way.
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August 31st, 2009 at 1:11 pm
I’m a stay at home mom and I would never put down a parent who works! My god, that’s twice the work. They have jobs and then they are parents. I don’t envy them at all.
But I think that sending your children to school is not having someone else raise your children. If you are involved with the school or even helping with homework then I think that’s false. I am raising my son, not his teacher. That’s a bit silly to me. I think it’s great that you manage a job and raising your family.
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August 31st, 2009 at 1:34 pm
This is a very interesting question. I live in a neighborhood where most of the Moms can afford to stay home. I can’t. That is just the facts of life.
I stayed home with my first child and loved it. I also went back to school so I could get a better job and make more money. I didn’t go back to work full-time until my son was in school full-time. So we didn’t have a lot of money. I got a full-time job and in order for me to make more money, I need experience. After 1 year of working, I became pregnant with twins. We can’t afford to have me stay home, but we can’t afford for me to work. That isn’t anyones fault but our Government.
So, I work so my kids can get the best out of life. They see that their parents love them, that we are responsible people and when we aren’t working, we are with our children.
A lot of the stay-at-home Moms in my area have school age children and still chose to stay home. That is when there attitude bothers me, who are you to judge me for going out to make a living, while you stay home, don’t contribute to society, head off for your Yoga class or coffee. I don’t believe you want people to look down at you, so don’t do it to me.
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August 31st, 2009 at 2:14 pm
For the same reason some working mothers feel the need to say rude things about stay at home moms. Some people need to belittle things they do not understand or wish that they could do to feel better about them self’s. As a stay at home mom I have a great respect for those moms that work either by choice or by need. Though I have often run into moms who work that have the attitude that because I do not I am either very well off and that’s why I stay home{ I am not } Or I am to lazy or do not have a good enough education to get a job.I am neither lazy nor stupid. Just as some mothers who work are neither selfish or a bad uncaring mom. It comes down to choice for most of us. As long as we are willing to tare the other side down. Neither of us will get the respect we deserve.
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Stay at home mom of 2
August 31st, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I don’t know any stay-at-home-mom who says that, much less in a mean way. I do sah with my children because I want the opportunity to be with my children…but when I say that it is by no means an indictment of the choices that other people make. In fact i do homeschool my children, but only because school was getting in the way of our learning and our social activities
Why do you get so offended when people say those things? If you have made your choices with the courage and conviction that it is what works for your family, then why would anyone else’s opinion affect you? Why would you let them have that power over you?
People can argue about cost of daycare, or moral values, or whatever they want…in fact, some people love to argue about anything they can get their paws on. When it comes down to it, it’s really no one’s business how someone else raises their children.
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August 31st, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Children are with out a doubt better off with a stay at home parent. Daycare is not better, if it’s the only option fine, but it’s not a better solution. Children need the one on one time with mommy or daddy at the very least until they reach kindergarten.
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