is it a good Idea : Training for badly submitted women ?
I think our cultur could help to save - by the way of courses - the submitted women from the dictature of :
- Religion driven attitudes ( plenty of religions in fact )
- Ridiculous laws from the family tradition ( Grand parents, parents, brothers, … )
- Arranged weddings
etc …
This could be done by internet or TV …
What do you think about this suggestion ?
Sorry for my english ( supposed )
I think that some sort of training could positively impact some women, but not enough to change years of conditioning. A woman really has to have the drive and desire to change. As Laela’s response indicates, some women are happy being subservient to their husbands. Do I agree with it? Heck, no! There is no biological reason that indicates men are superior to women.
Perhaps, a more effective idea would be to offer training in self-esteem beginning early in school. Women have to be confident in their own abilities before they will leave the safety of their traditions (arranged marriages, unequal marriages, religious mandates, etc.). We need to instill in young girls the power of individuality and show them that they have options in life. Even though the situations you have mentioned above are very patriarchical, many women find comfort in these relationships, because they don’t have to think for themselves and everything is taken care of for them. What they don’t see is that they are missing out on the opportunity to set their own course in life, and it’s actually setting a bad example for their children. The girls learn to be subservient like their mothers, while the boys learn to be domineering like their fathers.
The problem is just how to reach your target audience. Many people who subscribe to these beliefs home school their children, so they can have total control over the content their kids are exposed to. Training like this is more effective if the audience is younger. Many men do not want their women (who they perceive as property) to better themselves in any way, and that includes taking courses.
At this time, the best solution I can think of is to publicize free counseling at women’s shelters. The controlling men in question would probably monitor their wives use of the computer and TV. You are absolutely right about education being the key. Try for a more local level. In my city, there was a big stink made when a battered women’s group began to meet in a very prosperous section of town. People thought that nobody would show up, because problems like that just didn’t occur in that area. However, after 5 years the group is still going strong and has many members. Even the police were surprised how many women in that part of town were experiencing abuse.
I mention this because all of the behaviors you have described above constitute abuse. Emotional abuse and control can be just as bad as or worse than physical abuse. The worst part is these women often don’t even realize they are being abused.
By the way, spelling doesn’t matter, it’s the content that matters, and I think that you have a great idea; you just might want to bring it down a notch and start at your local level. Volunteer or consult with some women’s shelters in your area to see if perhaps you can build a program for mothers and children.
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September 20th, 2009 at 3:21 am
speak english x-(
References :
September 20th, 2009 at 3:41 am
Edit:Listen, I was born in Wisconsin to American parents; my mom’s not obedient, nor are my sisters, as a matter-of-fact they believe I’m a freak, so be it. I’ve been obedient for as long as I can remember; way before marriage, way before religion ever came into the picture, as a matter-of-fact, I never use religion as an excuse; some peope do, it makes it more acceptable in their eyes. I’d just do as I was told to do and I never ask why before, during and or after. I may have been living in saudi Arabia for the past 13 yrs, still it does not matter where I hang my hat; I’ll be the same. I refuse to be one way in one place and another in another place; I have only one face. *The slavery issue is something I have to deal with from time to time; funny, I don’t feel like a slave;,I don’t believe I’m a slave; therefore I’m not a slave. *As for me not being strong? Most go by the beat of the same drummer as everyone else. As for me, I’m not afraid to go by the beat of my own drummer; no matter what other people think; now tell me that I’m not strong.
Edit: Oh, by the way suggest away, suggest all you want. I; however, have a suggestion for you, back off! I don’t like it when some one tells me how I should be. I don’t like it at all.
References :
September 20th, 2009 at 3:50 am
I think it is an excellent idea.
TV and the Net are wonderful mediums for distributing messages, radical or not.
These ideas of being "Badly Submitted" would certainly be considered very radical by many people, especially in the ME.
The message would probably be poorly received, at least at first.
The hardest obstacle would be getting past the ’slavery mentality’ of many of these women.
You can see this is in the answers of the female poster above me.
These women have only known this way of life and cannot imagine themselves worthy of or strong enough to handle freedom and Agency.
There would need to be programs in place to support such women, after they accepted freedom. Many of them do not know how to drive, use a checkbook, etc.
Real world skills are beyond them.
I ca see such a program becoming a goal of organizations like the Peace Corp in the coming years.
Good luck
References :
September 20th, 2009 at 4:13 am
I think that some sort of training could positively impact some women, but not enough to change years of conditioning. A woman really has to have the drive and desire to change. As Laela’s response indicates, some women are happy being subservient to their husbands. Do I agree with it? Heck, no! There is no biological reason that indicates men are superior to women.
Perhaps, a more effective idea would be to offer training in self-esteem beginning early in school. Women have to be confident in their own abilities before they will leave the safety of their traditions (arranged marriages, unequal marriages, religious mandates, etc.). We need to instill in young girls the power of individuality and show them that they have options in life. Even though the situations you have mentioned above are very patriarchical, many women find comfort in these relationships, because they don’t have to think for themselves and everything is taken care of for them. What they don’t see is that they are missing out on the opportunity to set their own course in life, and it’s actually setting a bad example for their children. The girls learn to be subservient like their mothers, while the boys learn to be domineering like their fathers.
The problem is just how to reach your target audience. Many people who subscribe to these beliefs home school their children, so they can have total control over the content their kids are exposed to. Training like this is more effective if the audience is younger. Many men do not want their women (who they perceive as property) to better themselves in any way, and that includes taking courses.
At this time, the best solution I can think of is to publicize free counseling at women’s shelters. The controlling men in question would probably monitor their wives use of the computer and TV. You are absolutely right about education being the key. Try for a more local level. In my city, there was a big stink made when a battered women’s group began to meet in a very prosperous section of town. People thought that nobody would show up, because problems like that just didn’t occur in that area. However, after 5 years the group is still going strong and has many members. Even the police were surprised how many women in that part of town were experiencing abuse.
I mention this because all of the behaviors you have described above constitute abuse. Emotional abuse and control can be just as bad as or worse than physical abuse. The worst part is these women often don’t even realize they are being abused.
By the way, spelling doesn’t matter, it’s the content that matters, and I think that you have a great idea; you just might want to bring it down a notch and start at your local level. Volunteer or consult with some women’s shelters in your area to see if perhaps you can build a program for mothers and children.
References :
BSW-I have worked at a domestic violence shelter.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:21 am
There’s a difference between being submissive by choice and being made to act submissively because of your family background or social belief. I believe that when a woman freely CHOOSES to submit to her husband it’s a beautiful thing and will produce a happy, healthy, and long marriage. I fully realize that alot of women live with men who abuse them and would never recommend a woman submit to that type of man. Western society thinks of arranged marriages as backward and old fashioned but look how low the divorce rate is. Look how happy the families are and how nurturing that environment is. Who are we to judge and try to change someone else’s beliefs? I think people should be allowed to believe and do whatever they like as long as it isn’t hurting anyone else.
References :